My urologist retired.
It came as a real shock to me because he wasn’t very old and I only found out when I called to make an appointment with him. When I found him about 10 years ago, I didn’t have a urologist. I was fortunate when I found him through friends at HEA. He had a nice bedside manner and was conservative in his approach. I trusted him and felt comfortable with him. So I’ve found myself grieving a bit. I don’t know the circumstances of his retirement and I wish him well…but there is anxiety related to finding a new doctor — particularly a specialist. (This situation, of course, is not exclusive to hypospadias.)
So what do I do now that my urologist retired? I remember many years ago when I was younger and beginning to “age out” of treatment with my pediatric urologist. It was a difficult situation to be in. I referenced it in Living With Hypospadias. On one hand you have a pediatric urologist that has treated you for years that you have a relationship with. On the other hand, as I’ve been told by doctors, there is a need for adult men to be treated by an adult urologist because they have different medical equipment to utilize for those of us adult men with hypospadias.
In my search for a new urologist I reached out and made an appointment with my former pediatric urologist’s office for a consultation. Much like when I was “aging out” I found myself sitting in the waiting room along with parents and their babies and todddlers, just beginning their own journey with hypospadias. I was called in quickly. While I was waiting in the exam room, one moment hit me. I heard through the wall a young baby cry from the next door exam room. It instantly took me back to my own experiences as a child being examined by doctors, not yet understanding that they are helping.
All these years later, when I previously had felt awkward about sitting in a pediatric urologist’s waiting room — I now felt empowered. This was a seismic shift change.
So there is a transition happening. Transitioning from a specialist that you feel comfortable with to a new doctor is hard. And it can also work out. I have a checklist of the issues that are most important to me when I meet the new urologist. I can ask good questions. And I can listen to the doctor’s approach and see if it works for me. (I can also be prepared to write down important information that the doctor mentions).
Here are some of the questions I’ll be asking:
- How many repairs do you do a year?
- What procedures and methods do you use? (If applicable)
- Do you teach while you do the surgeries? (If applicable)
- How do you measure surgical outcomes? (If applicable)
All of these questions are important, very important. Especially when you have a condition that requires check-ins with your urologist throughout your lifetime. I’m also learning that I need to check-in with myself throughout this process. That is the best way for me to navigate this unexpected situation.